Dreams

After noticing flyers posted all over town for an art gallery called Meta House, I wanted to see for myself what the fuss was all about. Last night, I went to a rooftop screening of "In a Dream," a documentary by Jeremiah Zagar, a young man from Philadelphia who followed his parents and older brother for some time documenting life as a member of an artist's family. The film made for an emotional look into the passionate life of American mosaic artist Isaiah Zagar, the craze that feeds his all-consuming masterpieces, and how his creative priorities ultimately affect his family life.

I imagine that most serious artists have this dilemma, one that must strongly impact their families or others closest to them. They seem to have trouble with the concept of "settling down." As my mom once observed when we were viewing modern art in Mexico City, "In order to be an artist, one would have to be a little off."

What's interesting is that the filmmaker happens to be Isaiah's youngest son. I don't want to give away the content of this film, but, all the flaws, intimate moments, personal pains shown in a film about your own family - that must have made for an extremely sensitive experience. When the film focuses around the relationship between Isaiah and his wife Julia, it's hard not to question the matters of the heart.

I've never been an optimist in the topic of love. In everything else, I am (to a fault) overly optimistic. Those who know me will probably agree and be able to look back on a time when every idea sounded absolutely fantastic and bound to work out. Call it being naive. I like to look at it as being positive. It's always been a challenge for me to see something like "love" as something that lasts. It's not that I don't see it exist in the marital relationships within my family, it's not like I don't know couples who seem genuinely in love with each other, I just don't see the forever part. I have yet to meet someone that I could or would want to be with "forever." Sure, I've been in 2, 3, 4 yr relationships where I felt like I loved and cared about the person, but was there ever a point in the relationship where I could honestly say to myself: I want to be with this person, grow old and die with them? No. Is that a bad thing? No. Does that mean I wasn't truly in love with them? I don't know anyone in the position to judge that. Who is to define what love is supposed to mean and everything it entails? Just like everything else - it may be about ups and downs, phases you go in and out of, the good days and the bad. It's every bit as temperamental as we are as humans. But then again, what do I know?